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Uhuru, indeed! Five black men, attire, instruments, and names historically speaking not their own. Their dignity and identity stolen at one point, but rising to the fruit of stunning intellect when still looked down upon by those only able to destroy. Humbly I salute thee, Tony Williams, Ron Carter, Herbie Hancock, Wayne Shorter, and Miles Davis! (Push large screen button for extra effect!)
COLLECTED NOTES (by an ordinary citizen) The Sloppy Heart of Anthony Steyning's Fiction & Critical Non-Fiction Lab (many of these jottings, particularly the political ones, have been transferred to www.steyning.wordpress.com)
Yes, call it a lab. Or better still, call it a kitchen. The place where a serious writer starts, first collecting hardy ingredients then conjuring up a literary feast. Here a series of Steyning's Rough and Incidental Wisdoms, showing where some of all that creativity originates. Spontaneous stuff, called ejaculations by a friend of mine. Of a lucid canon, or at least a well worked mind. I myself describe them as mind squalls, or else braindrops that often go back some but in 'distilled' form end up in my properly completed work. Some of them even falling under my real name: G. Quiorselfe, the Quiorselves an ancient Viking tribe, originally named the Kjorselbs. On my mother's side Gofa an Iroquoi given name, thus many admirers, under partial breath, apt to mutter: Damn, there he goes again! Hey, Gofa... Quiorselfe!!
As recommended by my Roman editor FLATUS MAGNUS
(though certainly not all of it) -Can't look a gift whore in the mouth -Lend credence to neither thespian nor priest, both congenital liars and fantasts -The circus that advertised the tallest dwarfs in town... -Thank you for shoving my wife, said the man as I pulled him out of the water. -Man the fetishist -Life, for some the ultimate insult -The empire of public opinion -Spencer not Darwin author of the term Survival of the Fittest . Does Andorra say: he's famous right across the nation? -Beckett the minimalist - He lives in a town where cleaning ladies have cleaning ladies -Asado de pollo preocupado -Java- Javex -To buxom waitress, I'd like some hot cleavage please, ah, porridge, porridge! -A Farewell to Arms, by V.de Milo - And talking about taking big, I mean BIG, chances! Papuan Roulette is getting a blowjob from a cannibal (girl) - The Life and Times of Eddie Breakfhast - The 'Moe' character good for comedy. Extremely busy... acting busy, talking rushed about non-events as if he can hardly cope with what's going on, but we all know he's done dick in years and sponging off family, doing nothing of substance but talk - Or the essentially humourless man. When in mixed company always checking if his wife laughs first, before loudly bursting out himself. A camera would catch him. Uncanny team laughter, but some times awkward when their synchronization gets screwed up. - Another one the 'Jake' character, the inability to entertain more than one friendship, to embrace more than one set of loyalties, the distinct narrowness of character, well developed otherwise. All the rest kept away with polite indifference. - A prisoner constantly asking not what day it is, but what time it is, as if he had to go somewhere and driving his cell mate literally up the wall
That's them, but there's also this: -Papers often lying bleeding in the gutter -The curious case of the cross-eyed hypnotist -I'm big with the Polygrip crowd -Gettova ya self -Poshington, P.C. -My favourite porker Emmanuel was born and braised in Rhode Island -Did you Bangor Maine? -Chapultepec? No, you? -Doo Wop comes naturally... -Shoarma you think? -Tequila mockingbird -I'm canaloni -Ciao! Abyssinia! - Easy Dora Duncan -Azerbaijan the other day, and he told me to be very careful - What's her real name? I don't know, Alaska -Went to eat Japanese last week, wanted something to Nippon -Fish & Chicks -My girl-friend left me for Ben & Breakfast -The candidate spoke motto -autobiography sounds too much like autoatrocity -It has been called the love of the faceless: it takes an evolved mind to feel a complete stranger's pain. Hence, goodness is awareness -Or in other words compassion equates intelligence, cruelty stupidity -Free Radicals ought to be incarcerated -It takes two to tangle, but only one to dangle -Burton got a piece of Tayl(or) -She got woken by her alarm cock -The rooster who wouldn't crow... -Crude little Stalin said gratefulness is for dogs, just in case putting them down -Bangkok sounds like a motel, she said. She should know, her motto: all's well that hangs well. -I'm writing a plum: The Power of the Pink Penix -Puss & Pooch: The French eating one, the Chinese the other -Some people are remembered for what they wore, others for what they didn't -Good moaning! -Good Mourning! -The discoverer who named Greenland must have had a great sense of humour. -For that matter why is Green Tea, red? -A booby trap is not a brassière -A nutcase not a jockstrap -A friend of mine thinks a Caribou is someone from Trinidad, Jamaica, or the Bahamas -Sisyphus and his kid sister Pussyphus -When I was young I got some guacamole all over my ukulele, it was horrible, horrible - A friend of mine's a gynecologist. Or as he's known in the trade Doctor Clitoris Causa -Death's no big deal without life -Swans sing before they die, though in certain instances it would be preferable they died before they sang. - The firm of Giacomo Casanova & Rudolf Valentino, Providers of lip service - And speaking of lip service: Empress Wu Hu of the Tang dynasty insisted her dignitaries, including all foreign ambassadors pay her and her fertility homage by performing respectful cunnilingus on her as she placed her exposed genitals on a special wooden elevation, set up for the occasion in the Imperial lobby. Ambassador number 22 one afternoon, from a country that shall go unnamed, and more of a cunning linguist than anything else, not surprisingly became unwell. He was forced to resign, receiving a discharge, though clearly not from her. -My horse, an effete snob if ever there was one, constantly refers to his Oat Cuisine. As he is no camel, I named him Humphry. And if injured, I shall certainly not take him to New Humpshire -My dog's a bachelor. He's also a felon, recently acquitted under a flea bargain arrangement -The Life and Times of Claude Balloun (Nick Auf der Maur) -The Life and Times of Buster Price -The Hungarian vamp Meri Whory-Zontal -The Armenian philosopher Fallop Fallopian -And his Azerbaijani sculptor friend Azzip Atirehgram -Dizzy's Dead -My librarian's three weeks over due; she asked me to keep silent -A Streetcar Named Oblivion -The cruel will kill if you dare calling them this -A cremation has nothing to do with putting icing on the cake -The dinosaur population dwindled precipitously 75 millions years ago, after they started taking flying lessons -Coitus Interruptus: Coitus, you bastard, you do this again, and I'll smack you! -Time is Space -Time is Life -I had my ties tubed when I was 46-- never wore one since -The Revisionist Book of Fairy Tales -(Journey To) The Spring Of Ignorance -The Book of Woogie -He rode his condom with elegance -Mrs Wallis Simpson, otherwise known as the Duke box -Anne Chovis & her friend Robert Dick -The expression Unplugged has nothing to do with euthanasia -Novels of fine frozen manners -The dyslexic Lone Ranger: Ho Hi, Sliver! -Featuring Peckery Greg -Lohengrin is at the end of hole 3 -The Tannhäuser they built around it, will be completed next year-I get the finger you don't like me -A diphthong is not a nose dive -Poirot was fingering the suspect, when the coppers arrived -Lady Windebottom screws with a stiff upper lip -And speaking of stiff upper lips, actually this cliché is dead wrong. Upper class twits in England speak with a stiff lower lip, producing that Malcolm Muggeridge square mouth and when placing an upright toothpick in it the unmistakeable sound of ghastly gasp speak -W.C.Fields: Mae West is a plumber's vision of Cleopatra -Groucho: Women should be obscene, not heard -Kafka: I have nothing in common with myself -Newly Wets -American Wet Press -American Sex Press -Americans Express - North Dakota, South Dakota, Maxi Sota, Mini Sota -Soft Carolina -Wet Virginia -Minnesota Fats, Indiana Jones, Tennessee Williams, Joe Montana, Morocco Bama -The Specific Ocean -South Specific -Flatulence and scuba diving don't go together -She made a move in the right erection -I'll always love you more than yesterday, Tamara Knight! -My sister had a fling with a plastic sturgeon -There was a hold-up on 32d St. The Police asked a Jehovah's Witness what happened, but he said he hadn't seen anything -My father was a struggling car thief from (one-street) Gibraltar -Thus God created the Atheist*** -Pope Bogus XIV -Sainthood is Rome's Hall of Fame, but without the batting averages and the stolen bases -The actor Seymon Staynes will play agent 007, his publicist Victoria Feltham announced -My neighbour is a girl dating a dentistry student who practices on her cavities -The only thing phenomenal about phenomenology is the ego of its proponents -Richard the Turd -Tell Me What All This Means, by I. Kan't -Now from the Grand Ole Opry this ballad: My Gal's a Biker with Gas -Vodka: Eau de Pologne -A street walker in Alaska: a frostitute? -Sharks are primal and stupid. Dolphins are affectionate, evolved and smart. Mammals returned to water with social intelligence. Sharks should watch & listen,have a salt drink with them. -Some people are Sharks who are convinced the way to succeed is through hate at all cost. And sometimes they do win though they tend not to have friends or die old and by sleeping in. -Claus from Below, Sole Below -Preposterous and irrelevant: an organization calling a same gender union 'evil', while for generations criminally protecting its own representatives feasting on defenseless young boys and girls -Who invented the discotheque? Why Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau, of course! -(Esther Williams & me): Is the Pope Catholic? Did Esther soak the curlies? -St. Thomas Aquino's 5 proofs are very, very far removed from being proof the proofs are proof. -Raven Wolfhowl lives! -But Running Rabbit got murdered -Nurse to obese person at Emergency Admissions: Do you have elephantsurance? -I'm all for lobal warming -Most aggravating of all is the successful asshole Help Critical Thought Survive, Help Total Literary Originality; Any small donation is Deeply Appreciated:
*** Archangel: " Lord, Bubble 8734&66^41891142125144049=//%xx5952 has burst!' God (irritably): " Damn! Don't constantly bother me with this. It's what Bubbles are for." Archangel: "But Lord, it makes the other Bubbles very nervous!" God: " Good! Keeps them on their toes." Archangel: " But is this all you have to offer them: Doom?" God: " And hot air. I love blowing bubbles. Then: Poof! Poof! Poof! Once even tried biting one coming up through the water of my bath. Now, DO you mind!" Archangel (exasperated): " But, M'Lud....! There are good Bubbles and bad Bubbles. Aren't you treating them all the same?!" God (impatiently): " 'But, but, but'... Listen, a Bubble is a Bubble, don't be a sop! As a matter of fact, they're 'bad' only when they get away....!" Archangel (distraught): "No matter what they think, what they do, what they say?" God: " Yeah, but don't tell them. They have it rough enough."
- Never say... I must be guilty because look how I'm punished! - Always say... You damn well prove what it is I'm guilty of! - Americans believe in Profits & God - Religion is for twelve year olds, and those at one level having remained there, perhaps called split-level men. Not ready to run the world by a long shot, but already better than single minded simpletons. - Yes, I'd be most impressed meeting someone who's not a slow-burning chemical reaction. Someone not taking in 3 times a day, excreting no waste. Someone equal to the Universe, not a slave to it, not a senseless bubble.Without a penis as a link, born as and staying like a rock, himself a small roving planet. Man, the Planet. Truly significant, not insignificant, not even Promethean, know what I mean?
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-What is sane? -Latin American legislators constantly shift policy in order to keep everything.... the same - I don't deal with people who do their nails on Wednesdays. Thursdays, maybe, I do have my principles you know... -He has two sets of reality. One with all of us in it, and one all his own -Does this mean he's a congenital liar? -Yes, it's what it means! -She was as tidy with the skies, as she was with her life. After two months of wintery near-darkness, she closed her curtains when a pale sun finally broke through low hanging clouds, so the armchair near her window wouldn't discolor with light bright. She didn't walk, she scurried, her apartment a flat, square hole. She turned on the radio, it was a quarter to four. (read Short Story)
- I told my daughters March forward, and Wipe backwards, but never simultaneously! Avanti Popoli! -Looking back over the ages Jesus died for mankind, but must be quite pissed off with the waste of his gesture -Empress Erectas I (we'll talk later) - La ultima de todas
-Majority rule is great provided the majority does its homework, not passively outsource its conscience (Note to myself) In Quarter to Four, allude to French Writer Banier saying about his parents: They not only believed in nothing, they believed in nothing very, very strongly, on their merry road to nowhere nearly destroying me. Or if I'm to write a play about him, open up with him saying: " My parents had no children. I was twelve years old." - Hitler was a vegetarian. Disliking meat he made up for it by feasting on vast amounts of flesh. -Militant Nationalism has nothing to do with pride, everything with irrational fear. You never conquer with bombs, you conquer with noble intent, truly vanquishing and preserving with ideas and craft, not by bolting doors. -Last 007 flick: Aging Bond against the only crook who isn't incontinent, the fearsome Goldbladder. -Especially in the beginning, life gives one the illusion it's quite long, that one has loads of time. But in real terms it's ridiculously short, the body a plant starting to wither quite early.
-Nietzsche: Stuporman? (Nothing to do: Stan Getz, but Stella gets none.) -The US should have conducted Dale Carnegie style immersion courses in Baghdad, instilling Aristotelean, alleviating Blood pragmatism in hearts and minds down there -On the environment: have cars run on poppy seeds, coca and tobacco leaves: it saves everything. Failing that, have them run on used toilet paper.
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(Nothing to do: a hairless surgeon: Dr. Archibald Schorn…) (Mother-in-Lard)
(Eulogy I would accept: He was a sensible shit.) Add to Epitaph: Or "Scored to Death" (rather than the far less cavalier "Scared to Death") (Mantra: Everything is Connected.) (The Specific Ocean) (The South Specific) -There can be no life without constant renewal and re-birth. There can be no re-birth without death and radical re-materialization. -Childishly believing in the 'soul', is like believing in ghosts. The universe doesn't function in this fashion. - Rampant life, kills life. - Full circle. Make the most of what you have! Now is what we've got, and no more! - Epitaph for Sale : What a ride, wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Though quite short, and in the end even tiring me out somewhat. Thus, also when relatively privileged, one of them enough. The best of moments? The laughter of a happy child, the love-of-my-life beside me, the incredible beauty of light, of rain, of forests and flowers, mountains and oceans, of creatures more useful than me or those rawest of breathtaking emotions, the witnessing of an epiphanic act of generosity by someone to a person completely unknown to him or her. Not for a moment forgetting music, humour, her high-heels, Bourbon and other fine company.
(The Threat of Wealth) (By those who have it, to those who don't) (After world political wars having to do with regime & territory and resources have finally been settled, what is next: weather wars, generation wars between the threatened elderly taking up arms against the very ambitious, very uncaring young?) (Sorry, Fukuyama) -Jones invented the staircase
- (Project) It's wise to hit on pants, before they get incontinent. -Met the Whole family: Mr Whole, Mrs Whole and her little one. Unfortunately they're not doing too well. In fact the Wholes are in the hole. -Cloak your severest criticism in tiny little, lethal jabs and for God's sake, smile a lot. -Ministry of the Eradication of Hope -Ministry of Obsession -He had Ferrari red crutches, making up for dwindled members and a pathetic id -And what if all that 'construct' imagining, denotes an utter lack of it?
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